People of all ages play video games. I hate to break it to you sticklers, but they’re not just for kids, and I hate to break it to you pros, but they’re not just for hardcore gamers.

Before the evolution and popularization of online gaming, this wasn’t something too many people thought or cared about. You played your own game and no one else imposed upon it. But now that we gamers have become more social creatures, seeking the company of others in-game has become the best and the worst part of playing online.

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I love to win.

The smug sense of superiority I get when I overcome my opponents simply cannot be matched sometimes. It’s amusing to me to know that I have conquered friends, family, and strangers. It’s a license to brag. For a few shining moments, I am revered as something magical. Unstoppable. Truly the greatest.

That is, until the next round when a bullet sets up camp in my character’s head.

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Many gamers have their preferred method of getting their digital entertainment fix. Quite a few are blessed to have the means to be quite eclectic in their collections.

Myself? I just can’t do consoles.

Personally, I’d rather spend a good portion of my paycheck on a new, decked-out PC gaming and graphics design rig. At least I can multitask its usage into both entertainment as well as marketable products for my clients.

Fuck that $500 Xbox. And its extra controllers for more multiplayer fun. And the hard drive for downloadable content. And the downloadable content that costs extra. And the XBL fee.

It’s not paying me back.

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Back in the old days of yore, when I would wake up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons, I always marveled at the way superheroes always had a handy, competent sidekick following them around. In the cultural transition that has been the video game phenomenon, it’s interesting to see how the role of a sidekick has transformed as well. Gone are the days of spandex costumes and lame “Golly-Jiminee!” catchphrases. Now we have robots, boogers, foxes, breegulls, the list goes on.

But not all sidekicks are useful or even fun to be around. Most of them are whiny snots, scantily clad women, or just plain cowards. Who was the best of the worst? Let’s take a look.

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