Pocket Monsters have long been a staple for Nintendo’s empire. With catchy songs, flashing lights and adorable pokemon, who could resist the game? Despite a repetitive storyline, weirdos like me pick up incarnation after incarnation of this series.

And come on, even if you aren’t a Pokemon fan, you’ve probably wondered about the pokemon that didn’t make the cut. Surely with the large numbers of critters in the game, an even larger number of test designs have been left out. Well, good news for us–I just happen to have the scoop on a few of the pokemon rejects.

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I likes my women hard to get, with strong arms, a pretty face, and good cooking skills! Knowing how to raise livestock is a must. I spend most of my day out there in the fields, plowin’. Yeah. It’s a tough life. Especially with hurricanes and blizzards on the horizon, ready and willing to knock my houses and barns over. Did I mention my crops? They’re amazing. I mean, honestly, if you make a pie with one of my apples, you will likely fall out of your chair in ecstasy. My produce is just that good.

I bet I sound insane, don’t I? Don’t get me wrong, I am. But in this case I’m referring to my overwhelming love of the Harvest Moon series. I can pick up a Harvest Moon game and not move from that same spot for days. There’s just something so addictive about it. At first, I was ashamed of my love of the series. It stemmed from the experience I had when I first bought the n64 version of the game at a Gamestop. I plunked the box down on the counter, excited at the prospect of trying a new game. The guy working the counter looked down at it with some sort of disdain, then back up at me.

“Ew, that game sucks. It’s a girl game.”

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I have a confession to make. I haven’t owned a console for six years.

Yes. I know. It defies belief.

The reason for my lack is simple to explain: I was hopping the Atlantic on a regular basis, zipping between the USA and Europe, with only a rucksack of belongings. I had a PS2 memory card, and the games I managed to play (Resident Evil 4, Kingdom Hearts, Silent Hill 3, FF6 and FFX, Devil May Cry) I managed only in short stints at friends houses. Beating a game was rare, and often spanned years of on-off gaming sessions. I very quickly fell out of the console gaming loop.

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While home for break I find myself becoming a lot closer with my Nintendo DS since my consoles are a hundred miles away and locked in a closet. Since it’s been out since 2004, I’ll assume most people reading this have likely played a DS once or twice. If you haven’t, the selling point of the device is the fact that it has two screens. The bottom screen is a touch pad. That’s the most basic of basic explanations, but I find the best way to learn about a gaming system is to actually try it out yourself.

The touch screen makes for some interesting game ideas. But how much is too much? When does innovation turn into, ’stop, just stop, seriously’? After sitting down and thinking about the DS games I’ve played over the last few years, I was able to piece together what I think about the DS and some of its games.

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Orcs and Elves for the Nintendo DS probably would have sold more copies if it had a better name.

When I found my copy a few days ago, it was sitting in the back of Gamestop on a shelf by itself gathering dust. I hadn’t heard of the game before, but for under ten dollars, it promised me dark, dank dungeons, epic quests and–of course–orcs. For some reason, even though I’m not a D&D nerd, I was sold. I took it to the counter and forked over the cash to the Gamestop employee who was covered in World of Warcraft promo-buttons.

The rest, as it were, was history.

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The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass is good. If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, it’s gallivanting around Seattle from location to location while playing this game. I probably wouldn’t have had time to play the game had it not been a portable title and thus the genius of Zelda on handheld systems is undeniable. I mean, we all know Zelda’s good, but Zelda that fits in your backpack is way better. While in the past the series has sacrificed graphics and gameplay to make Link portable, the advent of the Nintendo DS means this sacrifice is no longer necessary. The end result is a quirky game that manages to mix the old charm of Zelda with the high paced world of today relatively seamlessly.

And yes, I know that sounded pretty lame.

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