The internet is all a-twitter with excitement over Blizzard’s recent release of the Wrath of the Lich King beta. People are bouncing between extreme anticipation and extreme disgust. Some are whining about beta keys and others can’t wait to get their hair cut. Seemingly forgetting the fact that in a couple of months (this is me making a wild estimation) the expansion pack will be readily available for everyone. But I digress.

With a shaky hand I double clicked on my beta shortcut (after the long download, of course) and the sight of the new title screen coupled with the befittingly chilling new music only served to further my tingly anticipation. I would not have said this about The Burning Crusade but this time Blizzard has done it. They have managed to re-capture all the excitement and epic qualities of World of Warcraft into an expansion that will blow both old and new players away.

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So last week we found out who the proverbial dimwits of the sidekick world are. This week, to make up for all my nay-saying, I’m going to divulge who I think the best sidekicks of the video game world are. I admit, I had a lot to choose from and it was hard to break it down into just five. However, I’m trying anyway.

A sidekick doesn’t have to be an amazing asset, or be capable of turning into a huge weapon. Just so long as they’re faithful and willing to go into battle. Not being annoying also helps. *coughNavicough* Some of the best sidekicks are the strong silent type.

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Back in the old days of yore, when I would wake up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons, I always marveled at the way superheroes always had a handy, competent sidekick following them around. In the cultural transition that has been the video game phenomenon, it’s interesting to see how the role of a sidekick has transformed as well. Gone are the days of spandex costumes and lame “Golly-Jiminee!” catchphrases. Now we have robots, boogers, foxes, breegulls, the list goes on.

But not all sidekicks are useful or even fun to be around. Most of them are whiny snots, scantily clad women, or just plain cowards. Who was the best of the worst? Let’s take a look.

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Beating games is the easy part. What? It is. Following the linear storyline and fighting the end boss, gathering all the necessary items or whatever it takes to unlock the final cut-scenes. Obviously there are some notable exceptions: Nobody would consider the credit rolling scene during K.K. Slider’s songs to be the ending of Animal Crossing. But the fact remains, most games require a bare minimum of effort to get to any of the plot points including the ending.

Side-quests are added in for a reason. A lot of the fun element in games is challenging yourself to get higher scores, better endings, or new outfits. Gamers have also been inventing ways to challenge themselves for decades. Who out there doesn’t have a 100% Zelda: Ocarina of Time save file? A better question: Who out there has actually taken up the three heart completion challenge? Significantly fewer people.

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Pocket Monsters have long been a staple for Nintendo’s empire. With catchy songs, flashing lights and adorable pokemon, who could resist the game? Despite a repetitive storyline, weirdos like me pick up incarnation after incarnation of this series.

And come on, even if you aren’t a Pokemon fan, you’ve probably wondered about the pokemon that didn’t make the cut. Surely with the large numbers of critters in the game, an even larger number of test designs have been left out. Well, good news for us–I just happen to have the scoop on a few of the pokemon rejects.

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Are you bored with your job? Perhaps you’re tired of taking orders from someone you hate? Or maybe you don’t even have a job at all? Regardless of your situation, if you want work, I have great news, dear reader! Our inbox has recently been inundated with requests for people to fill some out of the ordinary job positions.

You’d just better act quickly before they’re gone!

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