I like to try to get to know my competition. Get into their heads, figure out their personalities–size up the competition if you will. It’s an important pre-game ritual. I’ll look over gamercards, avatars, character choices, and most importantly, their names. Sometimes, I find genuinely creative and interesting names.

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This past weekend while I was drinking Sierra Mist and trying to keep food down, the Call of Duty 4 double XP event was going on. Now, I don’t really care about my rank, as I’m never going to play it online enough to ever have to make the decision to prestige, so I wasn’t concerned. I did, however, want to get to at least a respectable enough rank to stop hearing insults every time I entered a game.

Except, like I said, I was sick. And gaming while you’re sick isn’t always fun.

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Video games, aside from being my passion and the best way I can think of to spend my free time, are always packed with items, superpowers, plot devices, and vehicles that I wish I had.

I realize that they’re fictional stories, just like we find in books or movies. It’s so different, though. When I’m reading or vegging out to the television on the couch, I’m actively detached. I’m a spectator. When I’m gaming, however, I’m actively involved. When I play Portal, I’m actually creating portals with a special gun to get myself out of sticky situations–even if it’s just with my mouse.

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Princesses. For the most part, they’re nothing but trophy wives for video game protagonists; vapid and spineless girls akin to supermodels. Many, aside from their glowing cardboard cut-out personalities, are also great at providing little or no help in sticky situations that they frequently get themselves into. Furthermore, after risking life and limb for these harlots, the biggest reward you get is a peck on the cheek. Well, okay, sometimes, you also get some sickeningly cute giggle or a bat of an eyelash. Sometimes. That’s if you can manage to behave.

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Dialogue. You can find it in any game. Whether they are seen or read, every game has quotes; some are memorable, some are easily forgotten. Maybe we experience it while obliterating our friends on XBL, or while we’re being chased by ghouls down a dark hallway with only a baseball bat for defense. Sometimes it waits, hidden in the depths of a game’s menus, quests, inventories, narration–or as easter eggs to be discovered and enjoyed. Any gamer who has ever laughed, wanted to break things, or felt their heartstrings being tugged at while enjoying a particular game was most likely influenced by a demonstration of superb writing.

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My family, older strangers, and even some of my friends like to take one look at my pink and black hair and assume that I am going through some sort of “phase” that I will grow out of once I get out into the “real world.” My apologies–I suppose all this time, the Matrix has had me. I must have been living in my own virtual happy land for nineteen years. “Real world.” Pshaw.

Somehow my having unnatural hair marks me as immature–but more importantly, so does my passion for video games, anime, and cartoons. I can’t even count on both hands and feet how many times I have been given the Look by new acquaintances when I tell them I enjoy playing video games. They’re shocked and appalled that I would choose to take up such a childish hobby.

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