Good news! I’m back again with the final additions to my delicious fuds list. This time I tried to think of some of the more unique food variations of the gaming world. Some of them you may have heard of, others maybe not. That’s A-ok. We’re all food lovers here. I hope. My last list seemed to get a lot of people thinking, and let me just say - if you ever think of a recipe to go along with a certain game food type, please let me know. I’d love to do some kind of feature on video game recipes sent in by the readers. And I’m not just saying that because I want to try the foods myself…Even though I do. I really do.

On to the last part of the list!

5) Rare Candy - Okay, I know I said I was going to choose the rarer variations of game foods, but don’t kid yourself. You know that you’ve wondered at least once while playing Pokémon what these miracle candies taste like. They’ll level your ass up! Who knows what the means in the real world. Maybe it means a better job or better grades? Maybe it’ll make you taller? Or maybe, just maybe, it’ll level you up so you can finally use your razor leaf skill. Hm. Actually. The thought of that is terrifying.

If I had to guess on a taste, I would probably go with a combination of raspberry and cherry. For some reason I picture it red colored with a taste to match.

4) Happiness Candy - More candy, sorry. But I couldn’t pass this up. This candy actually comes from the remains of a dead piñata in Viva Piñata. For any other piñata, it would be cannibalism. Which they regularly engage in. For us, it would just be more candy. Candy that supposedly makes you happy. But really, what candy DOESN’T make people happy? Maybe that one chocolate bar I ate that was supposedly chocolate and peanut butter. But the peanut butter was all crusty and gross so it was like eating chocolate covered sand - eugh.

Anyway, for a possible taste, I’m going to go with the good old standby of regular chocolate flavoring. Yes, there are hard-chocolate candies. They’re okay most times. But if this stuff is guaranteed to make you happy, I’m willing to bet it tastes damn good.

3) Cup of Wishes - I can sense people scratching their heads here. The cup of wishes was the resurrection item used in Secret of Mana. Remember? You could only carry four of any item. And since the AI on your partners wasn’t so good most times, (unless you finally got fed up and manually set it yourself) you’d find yourself using the Cup’o'Wishes on them pretty damn frequently. It’s just a cup. A cup full of wishes. This cup of unfulfilled dreams is going to bring you back from the dead. I’d love to have a couple handy the next time I get a mountain cold on the day of an exam.

As for taste? How exactly does one taste a wish? Hm. Maybe it tastes like Sprite. Slightly lemony with a hint of crushed dreams. Sounds quite delicious.

2) Rainbow Curry - One of the most agitatingly hard to make culinary dishes in the Harvest Moon series. It requires one of every color plant. But, this dish is pretty much perfect for winning any of the cooking competitions. Unless you have the stupid bugged version of Harvest Moon: DS like I do and it just reenters the same dish from your first competition every year. Yeah, I didn’t have a kitchen that first year so of course I entered random crap. Thanks for sticking me with a loss forever. Man. HM:DS was so damn full of bugs and glitches. That game was the perfect example of why all games need to be quality tested.

So if I had to guess I’d say it tastes like curry. Really, really good curry. Curry that tastes so good that every minute you’re not eating it is like a torrent of agonizingly tasteless pain.

1) Bundt - Yes, I mean the cake. But not in the sense you’re thinking. Bundt was the wedding cake boss from Super Mario RPG. If any of you played the game, you’ll recall the part where you need to rescue the Princess from Booster. They run to a wedding chapel and Chef Torte whips them up the supposed “best cake in the world.” The cake is so damn delicious and well-made that it becomes sentient and attacks your group. The whole time I was fighting him my mouth was watering. It just looks like a damn delicious cake - alive and thinking or not. In the end when you “kill” it, Booster swallows the damned thing whole. It’s so good it makes him cry. Thanks for saving a slice for the rest of us, you jerk.

I can’t even begin to guess on the taste of Bundt. It probably tastes like how an orgasm feels. Thus, I issue my challenge to the baking world. Create Bundt. Create Bundt and I will wallow at your feet as an undeserving peon if you give me just a simple taste. Also, I promise to help you kill it if it does become alive and sentient.

Oh how I want cake now. Maybe I’ll try to create Bundt on my own. If you all don’t see me again, you’ll know why. I’m either dead from deliciousness or the damn cake killed me. Wish me luck!

This entry was posted on Monday, November 17th, 2008 at 12:18 pm and is filed under Gamer Culture, Top 10. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.