So last week we found out who the proverbial dimwits of the sidekick world are. This week, to make up for all my nay-saying, I’m going to divulge who I think the best sidekicks of the video game world are. I admit, I had a lot to choose from and it was hard to break it down into just five. However, I’m trying anyway.

A sidekick doesn’t have to be an amazing asset, or be capable of turning into a huge weapon. Just so long as they’re faithful and willing to go into battle. Not being annoying also helps. *coughNavicough* Some of the best sidekicks are the strong silent type.

5) Yoshi - To counterbalance last week’s number 5 spot, I figured I’d add in Mario’s other sidekick. No, I don’t really count Toad. Yoshi is one of the aforementioned ’strong silent types’ but that’s probably a good thing. What, if anything, could a giant green dinosaur possibly have to say? “Omnom, I eats da berry.” Sounds about right. Since the original Super Mario World game, Yoshi has been a popular addition to Mario’s arsenal.

He eats and poops out buffs. I bet you wish you could do that. He’s also practically invulnerable. No matter how many times he gets hit in Yoshi’s Island he never dies. The game only ends because the awful screaming baby gets pulled off screen. This dino also has the patience of a saint. Would you want to lug those annoying babies around for two entire games? I don’t think so. Playing the games was bad enough.

4) Kazooie - Of the genus breegullius snarkius. Banjo was a pretty plain and, let’s admit, boring main character. Kazooie was thrown in to spice things up. While initially she seems to be all talk and no action - effectively living her life in Banjo’s tiny backpack, eventually she shines in each game. Banjo pretty much has no offensive attacks except a roll and a pathetic claw move. Kazooie does almost all the powerful moves.

Not to mention she actually carries his bear ass. Literally. People tend to think this little red gal is annoying or obnoxious, but would you have been able to sit through the cut-scenes otherwise? I know I wouldn’t. It’s unfortunate that in the latest Banjo Kazooie installment, they seem to have made it into a vehicle based game. I guess hoping to cash in on that whole ‘build your own adventure’ game genre that has made so many other series popular. I have to say though, it’s not really looking impressive from here. Stick with what you know big bear and loud bird.

3) Dixie Kong - Why not Diddy? Well, honestly, I prefer Donkey Kong Country 2 over Donkey Kong Country. It’s one of those games I can sit down and play all night. And I have. But anyway, Dixie is the pink baret wearing member of the Kong family. Her most notable trait is her ponytail that also happens to make a startlingly good helicopter. I always assumed she was a chimpanzee, and I never really understood how their whole family was made up of gorillas and chimpanzees.

Dixie got her chance for the spotlight in Donkey Kong Country 3. She also never really seems to talk, but that’s okay.

2) Mog/Moogles - Moogles never get their props for being a valuable asset to the Final Fantasy world. Hell, they were all but completely absent from Final Fantasy VII. Moogles and chocobo are the two sidekicks from the FF series that seem to blend into the background of the games until nobody notices they’re there unless they need to buy something or ride somewhere.

One day they’ll revolt, just you wait. You’ll go to buy something or ride across a gross swamp and be pecked to death. They’ll take over the world. I’m telling you. Then we’ll start seeing games like: Final Fantasy: When Mogs collide. Actually, that sounds pretty fun.

1) Sparx the dragonfly - Someone mentioned this in the comments to my other post, and I’m inclined to agree that Sparx is one of the best sidekicks in the entire video game universe. Sparx is like a buffed, less annoying version of navi. He follows Spyro around and acts as his health meter. You recover health by torching sheep with your flame breath. Once the fodder is a shriveled husk, it releases a butterfly that Sparx consumes to replenish his health.

Sparx also collects most of your gems for you. If you’ve never played any of the Spyro games, I cannot articulate how incredibly convenient it is to have a feature like that. He also points you towards other gems that you may have missed. Sparx isn’t exactly the strongest of most impressive sidekick in the world, but he was put into the game with a specific job to do and his job benefits the player exponentially without taking the spotlight away from the main character. This is pretty much exactly how a sidekick should work.

So there, I do have a heart after all. Writing this article has given me a powerful urge to go dig up my old Spyro the Dragon games. I think I’ll go do that now…

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 4:57 pm and is filed under Video Games, Top 10. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.