I know I get annoyed easily about my boyfriend playing COD4 for hours and taking it way too seriously, but there are so many more people out there who are truly addicted to games in such unhealthy manners that it’s sickening.

I’m so glad that you made GDG and that we’re all here writing together now, and that you stopped playing when it started to take over your life. It’s inspiring, and I think a lot of people who are borderline-addicted should give this a look.

It’s tough going on some days, but the feeling is more manageable now that I have a job I can focus on (also in gaming) and a plan I can follow.

*big hugs* to you for not letting a game rule your life anymore.

Now that I haven’t played in almost 4 months, I find the time to do things that are beneficial to my future and to the start of my career. I love the game, but I know that if I ever add $$ to my account, I must have no other obligations happening, because I fall back into the world and I find it hard to climb back out.

Very powerful post. A must read for every hardcore gamer out there.

It was the same for me with WoW, a slow degradation till eventually I was playing just because it was habit to play. But I’m over WoW, indefinitely.

Warcraft 4 now k thx

I looked for another guild for 2 months.

Oh well in-fucking-deed. That, my friend, will crush souls and kittens. Many, many kittens. The server my main was on, Alliance outnumbered Horde almost 3 to 1, so being an Undead I didn’t have many places to go to begin with. Add the fact that guilds are either extremely high end or just starting Kara, in the words of Bender, I was boned.

To kill the boredom and defeat, I created a Dranei hunter. The more I leveled the more I realized I’d have to find a guild soon. I stopped leveling her at 48.

And at this point in the game, only a couple of months before the expansion, everything is rather stagnant. Progress just ain’t there. I wanted to experience a few instances before Lich King forces them to become outdated, but it’s not going to happen. Unless I transfer and that ain’t happening soon. I’m not made out of money, woman.

I am currently in a Guild which is progressing through Sunwell (stuck on M’uru atm). Though we don’t raid as many days as some Hardcore guilds (we raid 3 nights), I found myself playing a lot still on non-raiding days still. Farming this, running that… it never ends.

I’ve been trying to cut back a lot lately. I don’t even log in on non-raid days no more. Been keeping myself busy with other games You are right, “Putting over eighty hours a week into one game, that cancels out other games—movies—events, just isn’t me anymore.” , and I am trying to do the same.

It really brings home that, no matter how revered you may be for your accomplishments–its still just a game, and in the grand scheme of things, has no real substance. Playing for the sheer love of playing is one thing. Playing as an escape, to the detriment of other aspects of your life, is quite another. It takes a lot of strength and character to be able to step back and assess yourself so critically, and actually do what needs doing to make healthier lifestyle changes.

Well played!

Their addiction may be something different (drugs, alcohol, sports etc), but in the end it comes down to not wanting to grow up, not wanting the responsibility of a possibly tedious 9-5, paying a mortgage for the next n years, having a family and being tied down with all the responsibilty that that will entail. It’s escapism, pure and simple.
Your addiction was not so much WoW; rather that WoW was the vehicle you used to escape from the real world.

Being in a ‘leet’ raiding guild no doubt boosted your ego; people were and probably still are in awe of your achievements, and that will make you feel worthy, compared to the poor sap sitting at the supermarket check-out earning a pittance, waiting for the clock to turn so they can go pick their kids up from school and go through the same thing the next day.
The fact that your greatest victories proved to be hollow ones in your own eyes, was a sign that you recognised those achievements for what they really were - unimportant.

I’ve been playing games a lot longer than you. I am over 40, and I am still addicted. I have been ever since a friend described to me what Space Invaders was, and I went down to the arcade to find out. I spent most of my teenage years and my early 20s hanging round arcades.

I am still addicted to games, but there is a difference. Nowadays I can press the off button, nowadays I can turn people down when they ask me to make a 5th for a 1am Botanica Heroic run.

Last year, I rolled a new character on Horde side on WoW (I was already in a casual raid guild on Alliance, but I wanted a change). I joined a raid guild at level 30, but when I hit level 70, and people started pressing me to get my attunements done, I decided that I didn’t want to be spending my evenings having to play WoW, simply to keep up with everyone else in the guild.

I pulled the plug and quit the raid guild for a small ‘family’ style guild instead. I have no regrets about that whatsoever. No rushing home for raids; no feeling that I can’t do other things because my guild ‘needs’ me. I log on when I feel like it, and if nothing is happening on-line, it doesn’t matter.

I think you have learnt your lesson. The addiction is still there, but now you can control it. Grats. That is a real victory. Kelthuzad, eat your heart out.

Even if you’re not playing obsessively, the raiding game wears on you. My guild is in BT right now, and I usually raid about three nights per week, maybe four hours per raid.

After a while, you realize that the only reason for getting the gear is to do more of the same… And spending your time farming mats and researching boss strategies isn’t that fun after a while.

I know I’m more productive when I don’t play games. I dye fabric, I cook, I spend time outdoors doing fun things with my boyfriend and my dogs, but god…I do love games. And I keep hoping that somehow I can find a balance.

I’ve seen people mess with their lives in horrific ways playing all the time. The kids who get neglected for raids, the days of work and school missed. I’m glad to see you talk about this. Maybe it will give more people the courage to look at what they are doing to themselves.

Once my head started getting straightened out, WoW-time dropped significantly.

1) You’re either an ex-guildie
or
2) Someone who plays that much and is ashamed
or
3) Both

I’m seriously in disbelief here. You seem to want to be taken well, but you’re being a complete asshole; both misogynistic and hateful towards anyone with addiction issues.

It truly makes me think you, yourself, have a problem and are just releasing pent up rage at me for being open.

You were being so helpful, I dunno why you got any negative replies!

I’m banning your comments after your next reply if it’s not clearer. Be sure to complain elsewhere.

p.s. Who is him?

P.S. - Therapist.

P.S.S. - I’ll say one categorically “nice” thing before I go: Monique is a talented writer nonetheless, props where it’s due.

Anyway, I am happy that some people found hope or things to ponder — I write to make you think. It worked, cause it definitely made you (Bob) think.

I’m really not believing you aren’t a troll, though, for two reasons.

A) You initially typed brash and immaturely. Baiting us. Using sexism and insults. The therapist joke.

B) Everyone knows gaming addiction is very real. It’s similar to drugs or alcohol; people want escapism, they find it. I mean, almost every hardcore guild has 5-10 members who do what I did and still do it, three or four years after the game’s release. If you think what I did is so shocking, what about thousands of people who never quit?

I find it best to let whoever is being a douche keep on being one, because when it comes down to it, it doesn’t make a difference either way or really even matter. Just take solace in the fact that you aren’t like the other person and get over it
anyway, most of the time it is just a misunderstanding; Sarcasm isn’t apparent through text.

So yea 34 comments? Looks like the article comments will win out against forum discussion after all. I just hope it involves less ‘mantits’ from now on

I mean, after all, we should be able to control ourselves, right? I mean, if you can’t you are weak and spineless. Just say no and all that. It’s especially bad if the addiction is something like video games or food or god forbid…sex. At least if it’s a cigarette people can point to the chemicals like nicotine. But if it’s something that doesn’t have a chemical component in it, then it has to be just a weak will, right?

If only it were that easy.

In Nick Yee’s Daedalus project a striking number of people self identify as addicted.

Because people are ashamed, they don’t talk about it. Because no one talks about it, people like Bob feel it’s not an issue. But it is…and Monique is uniquely placed to be able to bring this out to possibly help people. I’m glad she did. Just sorry the conversation degenerated into hair fixing and man tits.

It was a really interesting read.

I’m a very casual raider myself, three nights every two weeks or so, less now that I’m hitting crunch time with work.

I’ve been lucky enough to never really hit that wall with games. I’ve never played WoW to the exclusion of other games, and the group I raid with consists of at least six friends that I’ve known personally since high school. WoW doesn’t exist as seperate from social activities, since I’m over at their house to raid with my laptop half the time anyway.

And yet, I know how ridiculously lucky that makes me. I crashed and burned my first year of college (2003) cause I spent more time playing games and talking to people online than getting out/doing my work. I was smart enough to fake it for the first two quarters. The third one not so much… I came away from that year with very few actual new friends to speak of.

And yet, as a guy, who mostly bonds by engaging in activities in parallel with other people, a lot of group time I spend with friends is spent playing Smash Bros, or some other multiplayer activity. It bothers me that bonding over a video game is still frequently relegated to the “social-outcast” status, while bonding over a game of poker is not, but that’s a different gripe.

I expect that the “social-outcast” stereotype started because a lot of us (myself included) played games for a while because it IS easier than socializing. Here’s to hoping that changes in the near future.

(Also, I demand some kudos. This is remarkably well-written given my morphine addled state =P)

While I have played no WoW, and the most I’ve ever gamed is Super Smash Bros. for the GameCube, I have an ex who’s completely into WoW, some who play casually, and some who are barely beginning. A classmate of mine jokingly told me

My ex [yes, we managed to stay friends] made me a character on there under his name and I played WoW for awhile but couldn’t really get into it. He, however, is known to spend hours and hours on it, with friends of his calling at all times. His uncle has begged me to get him off the computer. I’m not sure how to do this without sounding like a whiner or a b—, you know? Anyone have advice?

I have a very good friend who raided hardcore back before the expansion. She also did it partially to escape the real world (there was a sudden death in her family, and she admits she threw herself into WoW because she couldn’t just sit around). However, she did also keep her grades up, so I didn’t feel she was dangerously addicted to the game. She played it a lot, but she was doing her “job” and passing her classes, so I tried not to bug her about it too much. We did argue frequently over whether it was possible to raid casually, and whether it was possible to raid and also have a life. (In my experience, ‘no,’ and ‘yes, depending on the raid schedule.’)

The only thing I noticed for certain, and why I’ve never raided, is that you can’t PLAY casually and raid hardcore. You can dabble in raids, and I do, but if you have a job that requires unannounced overtime (I am a certified public accountant) or a hobby that requires unannounced overtime (I volunteer in community theatre, and when a show sells well, often an extra performance is added) you cannot be in those top guilds, because as you said, they have attendance policies and expect them to be followed. I don’t have any intention of following one, and couldn’t have even if I wanted to. If my boss says, “Alison, this refund claim has to be done by tomorrow,” and my raid leader says, “Alison, you have to be at the meeting stone at eight,” one of these people is paying my mortgage. One is not. Game, as they say, over.

However, like yourself, I don’t mind people who make WoW a primary hobby, or an only hobby, as long as they are in control of their own lives and paying their own bills. Hey, if that’s what you want to do with your free time, knock yourself out. (Or in college, in control of their own lives and keeping up with classes. Lord knows I can’t judge, I spent all four of my college years chained to a MU** pretending to be a character from Ranma 1/2.) I totally agree with you that it’s not about the loot, and it’s not about the hours - it’s about whether you are happy with your life and in control of your life, rather than using the game as a substitute for your life. It will never work as a substitute, but it works as both a casual or competitive pasttime.

@ William, AMEN on the social-outcast stereotype applying to video games and not poker.

(btw, not the same Liz as above…maybe I need a new name?)

This was a good read, and it did get me thinking. And I do play every waking moment that I’m not doing something else. (writing, reading…) Which, most of the time, I’m on for a good 9-10 hours a day. If not more… and I’m 17.

However, I’m not failing High school.

I’m not in High school.

I’m not a dropout, either. I graduated early, even though I play as much as I do. And now, I just don’t have a job or not going to college because I can’t pay for it. Can’t get a student loan ’till I turn eighteen because my mom has school charges and can’t co-sign for me. It’s a sad little world sometimes, so for me… World of Warcrack is more of a way to kill time than a way of life.

But still, a very emotional read. I shall now direct a few of my friends in this direction.

I quit roughly a year ago. Those first few months after quitting were so boring, but I’m glad I finally did it. I am happy that wow has killed the mmorpg genre for me. Now I am going back to my intended math/physics major. My brain will explode.

This is definitely one of your better articles, if not the best. Glad to see you’re doing well!

Everyone else — Thank you so much for the commentary. I’m so happy this little article ended up bringing so many questions and discussion up!

I’m glad you are enjoying life once again and challenging yourself (i.e. Computer Science) with something that will actually benefit you and your future. =D

Still, a lot of kids fail one semester or such their first year, so I can chalk it up to just me being foolish for once. Grades are easily made up and refunded. The worst was that she paid for the dorms, which was a lot of money, and supplied me with the food I needed via a meal plan. If they’d cut that off, I would have probably grown up a bit quicker.

The fact that are honest with yourself (and the world!) about the choices you made is full of epic win.

Again, thank you for writing this up and actually hitting the publish button. I do hope it helps others with their virtual vices.

This is a fantastic read, and very important for a lot of people out there. We sometimes allow ourselves to be caught up in something that isn’t anything more than a series of 1s and 0s. The only real difference between the staff you get at level 1 and the one from Sunwell is really just an ID number. What real good is all of this stuff? Nothing. Less than nothing.

Just like everything else, WoW should be enjoyed in moderation. Heck, my own blog is largely about being able to enjoy the game without devoting your life to it. It can be done, you just might never see the inside of places like Sunwell. Not much of a loss at all, IMO.

Anywho, thanks for the article. It was written very well and tells a compelling tale. Thanks for taking the time to write it, and I’m glad to hear that so many things in your life are improving.

PTD

I’ve been a member of a few guilds and some of the guildies would spend the entire day playing that game. That’s something I could not get over, It’s been over a month since I touched the game.

I’ve personally played wow on and off, more on than off, since beta. During which time I was at University studying a masters in Computer Science, I raided hardcore for about 90% of that time and still came 4th highest in my graduating class. I now have a high paying high stress job and find that wow is an excellent way to relax after work, raiding is only ~4 hours a night and even less in farm mode which is 80% of a given year.

Honestly I think I find that I play a lot less than other people as a hardcore raider in a world top #20 guild, since I basically only play in raids- in the current farm mode we have in sunwell this is barely two 4 hour raids a week.

It does anoy me that the general idea is that wow is bad and makes you fail exams and college and life in general - although you do say you don’t blame wow, you essentially do by association.

At the end of June I had almost quit playing, my paid time was up, maybe I should have. But now, I’m days away from turning 20 and I have been promoted in my guild. I was made warlock class leader back in early May, and I did give up stuff to get the position. My latest promotion was to DKP master. I run the system, set the prices, etc. Granted, once I finish pricing items the sytem can be run entirely without me. At the moment, TK, SSC, 4/5 Hyjal, and 3/8 BT are the only things I’ve repriced since taking over the system. Which is a lot and I am proud of having done it. I enjoy finance and it was a lot of fun for me to recreate my guild’s economy.

But, I do realize I have a problem. One that isn’t entirely WoW related. I log too many hours, and haven’t been missing raids like I was when I first started summer school. But, WoW is something I want to be apart of my life. I enjoy the game. I also like having a position in the guild of influence. I wouldn’t enjoy the game as much without it. I know that says something about me, I’m not sure what.

Regradless of what happens with me and the hours I log. I’ve learned two very important things from WoW this summer. I like book keeping/accounting and management. I’m starting to wonder why I am torn between a chemistry and philosophy major. (Philosophy is what I have been working on.) Okay, so now I’m rambling because I guess I found a place to talk about WoW addictions. Thanks for reading my silly comment, I’m going to try to go back to doing my chemistry homework now.

I’ve recently reached about the limits of where I’m willing to go for WoW. I realized this past weekend, when I sat at my computer, about as sick as I could get, but still waiting for a raid that never happened….I need to quit.

And I have. The decision comes from that, and from soon starting my first year in college…still not knowing what I want to do, I have decided that WoW is just not able to be a part of my life anymore, except perhaps over breaks.

All in all, though, apart from my rambling…I feel I have to thank you for writing this post. I have to applaud you for being brave enough to post something like this, not to mention to have done it period.

So, thank you, and the best of luck.